42

A poem . . .

lying in reminiscing thought, i arise 
i sit in shade of Sun
about to pour to Him the gray of heart 
but before i can, i see five bambi winks
i brisk to capture 
they dance and prance 
i breathe, i’m seen, by seeing thee 

i return and pour pumpkin spice in the midst of heat 
i say, "Let’s write," with beats of adolescence 
the safe secular melody validates the years 

keys that played in high school, as i deep dived 
strings that strung in speakers, of college drives 
the notes captured cries on cries 
now the water is held in the eyes 
a month shy of 42 defeats 
          the age I feel 
          the age I grieve 
          the age I am learning to set free

acting normal was and is obscure
i was young with an old soul 
older now with a filly spirit 
feelings of unfamiliar 
trying to sort out this dance 

i switch the notes and continue to drink 
i am still 
	a child
	a teen
	a twenty
	a thirty 
and always will be
i have days i am weaning 
days i am clinging 
and that’s okay 

i’m strong and sensitive 
i’m mature and messy
i'm stable and silly 
i’m smart and still learning 
i attempt, thick skin and tender heart
sometimes i succeed, and other times fall 
but i arise, i pour

Jesus, you were with me in the last 42
and will be with me in the next
what will i say when i am eighty-six
if truth remains, its okay 

baby bambi’s dance and prance 
and so do i 
i smile at thee 
how could You not smile at me 

Scripture Reference: Psalm 131:2 

Jesus smiles at YOU too sweet ones. He loves you. He really, really does.

-Ashley

Thoughts . . .

I would love to know how this poem spoke to you. Feel free to comment. Blessings beautiful ones 🖤