42

A birthday poem . . .

I wrote a version of this poem a month ago, as I was processing my up and coming birthday. I released it to Substack’s feed, but never via email. I felt it was fitting to re-release this poem today to you all. If you read this poem this past July, I changed it up just a bit and added a cool journal idea on the bottom!

If anyone else feels a little shaky, a little hesitant, a little scared, to get older, you are not alone. Maybe this poem will give you a little validation and reassurance that it is okay, that we age.

lying in reminiscing thought
i arise, to sit in shade of Sun
about to pour to Him the gray of heart 
but before i can, i see five bambi winks
i brisk to capture 
they dance and prance 
i breathe, i’m seen, by seeing thee 

i return and pour pumpkin spice in the midst of heat 
i say, "Let’s write," with music beats of adolescence 
the safe secular melody validates the years 

keys that played in high school, as i deep dived 
strings that strung in speakers, of college drives 
the notes captured cries on cries 
now the water is held in the eyes 
a month shy of 42 defeats 
          the age I feel 
          the age I grieve 
          the age I am learning to set free

acting normal was and is obscure
i was young with an old soul 
older now with a filly spirit 
feelings of unfamiliar 
trying to sort out this dance 

i switch the notes to He and continue to drink 
i am still 
	a child
	a teen
	a twenty
	a thirty 
and always will be
i have days i am weaning 
days i am clinging 
and that’s okay 

i’m strong and sensitive 
i’m mature and messy
i'm stable and silly 
i’m smart and still learning 
i attempt, thick skin and tender heart
sometimes i succeed, and other times fall 
but i arise, i drink, i pour

Jesus, you were with me in the last 42
and will be with me in the next
what will i say when i am eighty-six
if truth remains, its okay 

baby bambi’s dance and prance 
and so do we

we smile at thee 
how could He not smile at you and me 

Scripture Reference: Psalm 131:2 

Birthday Journaling . . .

About four years ago I started a birthday journal! Every year (if I do not forget) I grab this journal and I share to the Lord various things on my heart, reflections from the year, and/or anything I feel the Lord is wanting to speak to me. I usually journal a day before my birthday, the day itself, and sometimes even a few days after. I think it will be so cool in the years to come to look at these various entries. Maybe you want to start a birthday journal too!

My Birthday Journal - I love stickers, can you tell?!

A few pages in my journal from past years.

The start of my birthday journaling this year.

Thoughts . . .

Birthdays can be up and down and all around. Don’t you think?! I would love to know how this poem spoke to you. Or, even how you feel about birthdays. Feel free to comment. Blessings beautiful ones 🖤